In celebration for the 2nd anniversary of Into the Alaskan Wild, I am providing you the first chapter of the book for free. Please enjoy.
Into the Alaskan Wild
Chapter 1
Nine Weeks Ago
August 12th
Undisclosed Location
The first vestiges of awareness for Gwyn Branham were bleak. For the life of her, she couldn’t remember where she was or how she got there. This was not an uncommon feeling for her. Years of addiction made the process of remembering much harder than it should be. Without opening her eyes, she felt the hardness beneath her and attempted to push her mind to work. Everything in her mind came up hazy. She opened her eyes to darkness, questioned whether she was still asleep, and closed them again. Instead, she focused on her body.
She attempted to stretch, becoming overwhelmingly scared by the burning sensations on her hands and feet as they came in contact with cold metal. Her eyes flew open, searching the darkness in confusion. Her hands and feet were only in contact with the metal momentarily. Fully aware now, she could see that she wasn’t in complete darkness. The only light came from a campfire too far away from her to notice much in her direct vicinity or provide any heat whatsoever. Letting her eyes adjust, Gwyn became aware she was in a cage, silver, of course, since that was the only metal that could burn her. A silver cage seemed like an over-the-top expense. Yet, whoever put her there clearly knew she was a werewolf. They came prepared. She casually reached out to test the boundaries of the bars. Burning her fingers again didn’t feel great, but at least she knew how far she could go. Behind her back was a hard stone wall that leeched warmth from her.
She shivered and glanced around again, invoking her wolf this time. Her eyes laser-focused on the two figures that surrounded the campfire. They were not awake. She could hear their even breaths. The area's look seemed to lean towards being in a cave, but where she had no clue. She could see the entrance partly and a sliver of the night sky outside. Stacks of boxes were in random places. The one nearest to her had a tarp draped over it. There were no other features that could tell her much about her location.
Unsure of how she got into this situation, she leaned against the cold stone and put her arms around herself. Searching her memory, she closed her eyes and tried to think about the last time she was conscious. Flashes entered her brain, highlighting images of her on a bed, arms wrapped around her, a body on top of her, and sex. Sex with Lucas. She had been with Lucas at the Silvery Peak. The memories sent a wave of desire through her, heating her faster than the fire would have. Oh, Lucas. Her mind called out to him, knowing he could never answer.
Pushing again through her memories, she focused on the moments after leaving Silvery Peak. Taking a hit of cocaine in the parking lot. Sitting in her car crying alone. Feeling lonely despite leaving Lucas moments before. Leaving the parking lot, intending to meet up with her party friends. Stopping for gas and filling up the tank. Needing to pee, she entered the public restroom, relieved herself, and went to the bank. The bank teller gave her a look but handed her a large sum of cash. Heading out of town to an undisclosed location. Waiting as night fell. A car pulls up. Two men stepped out. Itching for drugs, she had spoken. They advanced on her, grabbing her. She tried to call out as something pierced the skin of her neck. Her eyes went wild, dancing between two men. A man with evil eyes, glowing with satisfaction, and another with kinder, softer eyes that looked almost apologetic. Then nothing.
The two men were her kidnappers, who lay next to the fire and slept peacefully as if nothing mattered. Gwyn opened her eyes and glanced toward them again. Wishing she could do anything to help herself. Their faces forever etched in her mind. They had a lot to answer for. A thousand scenarios went through her mind. One where she could save herself. One where she had the strength of a pack and the stamina to sustain her through battle. She once had that sensation when she tried Glass, but a situation afterward made her feel crazy. The reality of this situation, though, was entirely different. She didn’t have the strength or fortitude to save herself.
Years of drug abuse, alcoholism, and lack of proper nutrition did nothing for her stamina or strength. The lovely side effects of her werewolf blood made healing a breeze. The trade-off for her usage was she would rarely be at peak performance. It was a fact she had been okay with until this moment when she needed to improve. Even in the roughest of crowds and with all sorts of drugs running through her veins, she had been able to handle herself.
Her addiction got her into this mess. Had her desire to escape not been this high, she wouldn’t have been Jonesing for drugs. A hint of shame rose to the surface. In all these years, she had never allowed herself to feel shame. Joy. Heartache. Anger. Sadness. Depression, but never shame. Her actions, her choice of escape, had been hers and hers alone. A tear escaped the corner of her eye, which she brushed roughly away. Whatever these men wanted, she could only hope that her brother would take pity on her.
Her mind strayed back to Lucas. Knowing Lucas, he would probably sit her down and give her a talking-to about her penance for risky behavior. Risky behavior ended up with her in a cage in an unknown location without understanding why or who these men were. Being the sister of a pack leader afforded her money without much resistance. The only scenario that made much sense to her was that these were some dealer’s henchmen. The small town of Stoney Brook hosted many people, but essentially, it was the same small, rural town as many others around the country. Flashing as much cash as she did regularly could have made a dealer greedy. So greedy that he kidnapped her for ransom. Gwyn cursed herself for not being more careful. There were times she had flashed money as a status boost.
Fully awake now and as aware as she could be in this situation, she focused on taking stock of herself. Her body shook uncontrollably from the cold and, dare she think it, drug withdrawal. Each limb acted on its own, quivering to and fro. Her mind prepared for reality and for the aching process of becoming sober. She could feel the craving on the back of every thought. The need for drugs. The need to get high. An edge that made her feel weak and needy.
The edginess of withdrawal is something she loathed to feel. There was not one action she wouldn’t perform to make it go away. No matter what it was or with whom. Years of drug abuse and seeking never to feel this left her entirely overwhelmed by the sensation. A sense of panic came over her. Her eyes darted around the area, pursuing a way out. A way to escape. The drugs. She needed the drugs.
Her stomach lurched as the bile came up. She couldn’t stop it, opening her mouth to allow it to escape. Once the retching stopped, she laid down, gripping her empty belly. Sweat had begun to bead on her skin, almost echoing the pain. The pain crept in like a thief in the night. Her joints felt swollen and achy. Her head pounded. Her breathing increased to a frantic pace. Her stomach threatened to empty again, bringing an aching feeling inside her stomach. Gwyn knew nothing would come up, so she was left dry heaving.
Another unfortunate side effect of her drug use was the feeling of paranoia that followed her in every part of her life. It stayed right there even when she was safe and secure inside the compound or with Lucas. Right now, the paranoia led to the hallucinations. Floating images of her brother and of Lucas. The images flashed in and out, each saying something different. Calling her worthless. Calling her a failure. Telling her she was unworthy of love. Petty. Gross. Disgusting. A whore. A drain on their lives.
Gwyn could feel the tears streaming down her face, but she lifted herself and pushed into the rock wall. She covered her ears, screaming, “Please stop. Stop. You're mistaken. You are so wrong. I am none of those things. NONE. STOP.” Her body shook with each word, ignorant of anything around her.
“Hey, shut the fuck up, or I will make you,” one of the men yelled at her.
“What’s wrong with her?”
“We don’t get paid enough to deal with druggies,” the first one said.
“Got that right.”
All sounds began to intensify. Gwyn gripped her head to make it stop. She could hear the wind rushing against the rock. Footsteps of creatures shuffling away in the night. The men shifting in their sleeping bags sounded like sandpaper rubbing against her eardrums. Their speech rang in her head, making her crave silence.
The pain was too great. “Please. I need some dope. I will do anything…” she pleaded.
One of the men stood up and walked toward the cage. Each footstep echoed in her head, making her eyes swim. “Where do you think we would get dope from? We are in the middle of Alaska.”
“Do you think we should be telling her that?”
“What’s the harm? She could die at any time. Besides, what is she going to do? She is stuck in a cage.” The man leaned down and looked at her. The look on his face scared her. “Besides Jasper, what Eion doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
Jasper? Gwyn attempted to shift through her recent memories for a man named Jasper. Nope. Nothing. The name didn’t ring a bell. Did she upset a local drug kingpin and not pay? Did she insult someone at a bar? She couldn’t recall anything that would land her in a cage in the middle of Alaska. Risking it, she asked, “Alaska? What am I doing in Alaska?”
“Shut up like the dog-whore you are,” the man said with a kick to the cage.
Gwyn closed her mouth, knowing it would be better to be silent and watch than incur the wrath of someone who may be unpredictable. Her body was much too weak to get into any fights or physical altercations. The sensations of withdrawal kept pouring over her, increasing her physical pain.
Being clean in the past had only happened once. Cade, her brother, had demanded she sober up. They had found her in a crack house in Seattle, passed out on a used, torn mattress. Weeks of partying brought her to that place and that point. The resentment for her brother had made her say many nasty things to and about him. Gwyn could remember the same sensations, the same pain, the same overwhelming sense of fear and panic that coursed through her body. The difference was she wasn’t alone. Lucas had been there the whole time. Even as she got angry and upset at him, he held her as she shook. He caressed her hair to calm her. He watched her while she slept. He had been there. He was always there except for now. Now, she was alone. Truly alone. The feeling of loneliness she had before this moment paled in comparison.
As far as she could see, there were a few ways out of this situation. Death from an unassisted withdrawal or escaping her captors and finding a way to the nearest town. Or, worst case scenario, ending up in the Alaskan wilderness, unsure of where to go and either a bear or Mother Nature taking her out. Only one of those seemed like a good option to her. Being clean would allow her to pay attention and learn their behaviors. It was the only way. Calling on a strength she didn’t know she had, she mentally prepared herself. Holding onto her stomach, she curled on her side and closed her eyes. The sensations were almost too much to handle, but she would have to take it minute by minute.
The men settled back down to sleep. During a nasty episode of vomiting and hallucinations, Jasper came over and placed a cup of water near the bars of the cage. She whispered her thanks and reached for it. The shakiness of her hands caused burns to form from hitting the bars, but she needed the water to survive.
Being a werewolf meant the withdrawal symptoms would disappear in less time than a human. Still, six hours of the same intense pain as transitioning for the first time was crushing to her physically, mentally, and emotionally. Losing track of time, she couldn’t be sure how long it had been or how much time she spent unconscious during the withdrawal. Her memories kept her going.
The lasting memory floating before her was leaving Lucas and blowing him a kiss him over her shoulder. She fled her brother’s hotel and into the parking lot. Gwyn had always felt devastated when she left Lucas. Tears welled in her eyes as she thought about it. She wanted to be curled up in his arms and feel the safety and security he promised her. Gwyn couldn’t allow herself that. For some strange reason, she couldn’t commit to the man who had been with her for so many years and events. On and off. Whether she allowed herself or wanted to admit it, Gwyn knew without a doubt that he would be there. No matter what.
That need for safety and security was too much to bear sometimes. A burden that pushed Gwyn to medicate with drugs for a reprieve. Those feelings ripped through her body like a wildfire in ninety-mile-per-hour winds with embers floating in all directions, ready to catch the next thing on fire. Why she felt like her needs were a burden, she didn’t know, but nothing would have stopped her from leaving him that night. Her need for drugs had made her escape that cocoon. She was so tired of having this panicky, overwhelming feeling.
Honesty had never been a priority for her. Not even to herself. And yet, the sadistic part of her mind sometimes thought about ending it all. She had been invited to a party in Manhattan by some billionaire. The bright, bubbly girl she ended up being in public got her there. He had plans for her. Plans that involved spending days on end drugged up and sexed up. She indulged him. He draped her in diamonds and jewels. He paraded her in front of all of his friends. While on a high one night, she got tired of it all. She stood on the balcony of the ninety-second floor overlooking all of New York. The lights flickered in the horizon for as wide as her eyes could see. The noise was grating. She remembered not feeling anything – no remorse, no pain, no sorrow. All the things she figured she needed to feel to be alive. She climbed onto a coffee table in her stilettos, ready to jump. She looked down at the concrete below. Something inside her was happy to be ending it. To be done with everything. Just as she took the final lean forward, a set of arms pulled her back. The last thing she remembered was the thud into the floor of the balcony, the feeling of her lungs slamming against her back, and the air releasing from her lungs.
Gwyn shivered against the floor. That particular memory was always hard to remember. It made her recognize that she had a void inside. She couldn’t find a way to fill it despite years of trying. No person – not even Lucas. No item. No drug. Nothing. Another memory surfaced, making her shake her head. Gwyn had sat in the parking lot inside her car for quite a few minutes, enjoying the sensation the cocaine provided, lighting up her cortex with pleasure. The sensation was stunning and made her feel like Lucas was still inside her, pushing her to heightened euphoria. Awareness flowed through her even now. She sensed her skin flush.
Gwyn took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and shifted her body so that she was sitting up. Her mind wasn’t fully functional yet, but she went over the information she had already. Two men had kidnapped her in Stoney Brook, Tennessee, and got her to an undisclosed location in Alaska. The unnamed one said the middle of Alaska. She could only imagine how they were able to bring her here. The other man’s name was Jasper. There was a man named Eion who seemed to be in charge. And the unnamed man had a thing for going against his boss's words. Gwyn filed that away for future use. These guys must have had some help or a lot of resources.
Based on her previous experiences with withdrawal, she was less than twenty-four hours in. A flutter in her stomach made her focus. She placed a hand over the spot and tried to figure out where it was coming from but knew it didn’t have anything to do with the withdrawal. Leaning her head against the rock behind her, she shook her head. The last time she had been with Lucas, they had been unsafe. Risky behavior was her forte. As quickly as the sensation came, it disappeared, leaving her flummoxed. She didn’t know how long she had been here, but their coupling may have given her a real reason to live and find a way out of this situation.
Despite the shakiness and pain, Gwyn forced herself to sit up and start watching them. She would have to know everything about how they move, how they interact, and how they think to have any chance of getting out of this alive. She understood that Jasper already showed her kindness, so she would start working on him.
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