A Long Way Home - Just a ride

It was a lazy afternoon with work completed. When he came inside, Andrew suggested a ride to soak in the autumn colors. Agreeing to the proposition, a quiet kiss was placed on her lips as he turned and walked out. His stride was sure. He had saddled up the horses as she gathered some snacks. The sight of him, seemingly healthy, checking the horses took her breath away. With all her heart, she had wished she could stand on the porch viewing that sight for all of eternity. Maggie came bounding toward her, letting out an excited bark. Andrew's attention shifted back toward her with a brilliant smile on his face.

 "Ready?" He asked as she walked toward him.

 "Yes my love." She slipped her arms around him and hugged him tight. "Whenever you are. Where are we headed?"

 "Nowhere! Just riding. I hope that is okay." He shifted toward her horse.

 "Perfect."

 They climbed into the saddles and began their journey. Slowly climbing the trail, the heartache and worry disappeared behind them. It was just them and the world. Colors of burgundy, mustard, gold, and brown brightened each step. The quietness of the climb didn't take away from the closeness she had felt to him.

 A little over an hour they summited with a breathtaking view looking out over the valley. Slipping from the saddle, they settled on a rock with an apple as a snack. "This was a good idea." She spoke softly. "I love riding with you."

 "It is the same for me darling." He took a bite and looked at her. "There was something I wanted to talk to you about."

 "Oh?" She waited patiently.

 "When I die, I want you to move on. Find someone to marry and have a real life."

 His words brought her gaze to his. "I can't do that Andrew. There is only you in my heart."

 "What we have is wonderful Melanie, but this is not a real life. I am half a man. Maybe not even that."

 "You are not just half a man. You are more than most men will ever be. Don't say that." Frustrated with him, she stood up and paced away.

 He remained where he was sitting. "Melanie...you have meant the world to me. I wouldn't change having this life even with the sickness. But to ask me not to want more for you darling, that is not alright."

 She shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself. The brilliant colors were lost. The peaceful mood she obtained on the ride disappeared. "But I do not want more. I just want you."

 "I know you want children. And you deserve them."

 She turned and looked at him in exasperation. "We can have children. Adoption is an option. Or we could find a surrogate to carry a child."

 "Oh Melanie. I am too sick to have a child. I would be no help."

 "Don't say that. You are not too sick. We can have the life we wanted and planned for."

 "Melanie...we can't. I am going to die soon." The words hung in the air. Words that remained unspoken until this moment. They seemed as if they were choking the air. He couldn't take them back.

 Her voice was but a whisper. "You are not going to die soon. You can't leave me."

 He stood up then and pulled her close. Slowly his finger pushed her face up so he could look into her eyes. "Yes my love, I am. We cannot pretend any more. I want you to prepare for it."

 "I don't want to prepare for it. I want you to be with me forever." She knew that she sounded like a child, but she cannot help it.

 "I will be with you forever." He placed his hand on her heart. "In your heart. In your memories. I will always remain. You would only need to think of me to have me."

 "Oh Andrew." The tears began streaming down her face. "I cannot live without you. I don't want to."

 His arms pulled her tight against him. "I know my darling. I know. But above anything, I want you to be happy. I need to know that without a shadow of a doubt that you will be happy. With or without me."

 "Please Andrew. Let's not talk about this." She pleaded.

 "Tell me Melanie. Make that promise to me. Make the promise to find happiness for yourself...and for me after I am gone." His lips brushed her wet cheek. "Promise Melanie." He whispered.

 "I promise Andrew. I promise." The words were barely spoken. But the words were enough.